I have gone through a range of emotions this past week. Let me first say, that I have a very heavy, full plate. No one , even family members, know truly what we deal with from day to day.
Some days are extremely trying and exhausting. Some days I don't pick up the phone (it takes energy). I wear MANY hats. My husband also. We do the best we can to help others-sometimes there are things that are just out of our reach for our circumstances. But that does not mean we don't care! This past week my heart was torn in a hundred (or more)pieces. I don't know if I will ever recover. But I know I need to forgive. I have made a pact some months ago to surround myself with positive. I NEED to. I have done well the past couple months, despite our obstacles. My daughter feeds off emotion. Even though she doesn't understand it necessarily, she is very intuitive. This week has thrown her off completely I think because she can feel the heartache I experienced. I am grateful so much for those wonderful friends (and they know who they are *wink*) who understand my circumstances, and love us even if I don't feel like picking up the phone (and trust me, this past year has far been the worst). Friends who know we are good people, and do the best we can. I have to say, despite my circumstances, I do pretty well. Much better than some people could. I wasn't always that way. It has come through life experience, and most importantly, maturity. I once used to get mad & upset over petty things, and things beyond other's control. I have learned so much over the years. I have learned you truly cannot judge another unless you have walked in their shoes. NO matter what. I think life is just way too short to be upset over small things (or circumstances that cannot be helped). I used to hear people say that all the time, and never took it too serious. But now I know, it is true. So with that, I let things go. But at the same time, I will not be walked on. In life, we are only required to do our best, and that is just what I will do.
(photo is a journal page I did a couple years ago, and the broken heart truly went with how I have felt this week)