Yesterday was my ever anticipated Appointment with a neurologist for Gillian. I went armed with a ton of information to support my case. I thought it was a sensory processing disorder. I was so not prepared to hear the words I heard yesterday: Autism. She has autism.
Its the higher functioning type, which is good . But still, to hear that hurt pretty bad. I am dealing with it-I have my moments for sure. But, all in all I am remaining calm and just holding on to the fact that "help is on the way." This opens up doors for her so that she can get the help she needs. And, alot of her behaviors make sense to me now. I guess when you put it all together , you can see it. I was just looking at all the different things. I am trying to just digest the whole thing right now, taking it moment by moment. I know its not the end of the world-it really could be so much worse. But still, no one wants to hear this about their child.
I have been reflecting alot on her life since yesterday. Just when we think things are okay, we are hit with something else with her. I just keep asking "why me?" I am not feeling sorry for myself at all.........we deal with what we are given. It just makes me wonder.:(
Something else difficult for me right now is the fact we are going to put her on something -very mild-for her hyperactivity. Its not a stimulant and is not supposed to alter her personality. She has such a sweet personality I didn't want anything to change that. She should start it today. Its just all alot to digest at the moment. One thing is, I feel at peace with it all. I feel like everything is going to be okay. But still tough :(
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2 comments:
Kristy, of course it is difficult to hear that some is wrong with your child. No parent wants to experience the pain of knowing. You are doing the best thing...taking moment by moment. YOu are right all will work out. Until then it is getting through all of the feelings you are experiencing.
Debi
Hi Kristy, So sorry to read of Gillian's diagnosis but believe me I know what you are going through. Our youngest, Mark, who is now 21, was diagnosed at 3 years with a specific communication disorder, along the autistic spectrum, and over the years it seems it has always been him that has been 'hit' with one problem after another including his epilepsy. The latest is the worry with his 'heart' (results day today!). All I can say is that in the beginning it is very hard, especially when they are so little and so precious, but with time it gets easier and you get stronger. Just enjoy each moment with Gillian and take each day at a time, and know that there are always people around thinking of you.
Take Care, Alison
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